Women of a Certain Age
I am of the decided opinion that women over eighty should be absolved of the responsibility of being “nice” or “politically correct.
It’s not that we should be mean or uncaring. We have no interest in either. In fact, by eighty, hopefully, we have seen enough and learned enough to have developed a modicum of understanding of our humanness, our myriad tendencies toward mistakes and our treasured illusions that we can ever approach perfection of any kind.
After more than a few hard knocks, we may have a glimmer of humility with an awareness that most of what we thought we wanted or needed in our lives was not very close to what actually proved to be the most valuable.
Hopefully, we have some awareness of the value of our mistakes with the whoppers turning out to be some of our greatest vehicles for growth and learning. We may even have come to see that our greatest wealth is in our honesty with ourselves and others and that caring for others does not include coddling them or feeding their insanities about themselves or others. Our experiences have taught us that unconditional loving does not include feeding others’ illusions about who they think they are, who they want to be, or who they want others to see them as being.
Our unconditional love after eighty resides in seeing ourselves and others exactly as they are and loving them to pieces.
I just love being an eighty-year-old woman.
The power of loving truth as I see others and myself, what is going on around us, and what we are doing as a human race is what I have to offer now.
Take what you like and leave the rest. I no longer can suffer foolishness lightly.
Love to you all,
Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D.